Looking for a place to sit?
Best comeback heard yet in response to unwanted sexual advances.
Scruffy older man ogling young woman as she gets on the bus:
“If you’re looking for a place to sit darling , I’ve got one right here”
(pats lap)
Young woman, looking at him disdainfully: “Man, you’re riding the bus too- you can’t do s*%t for me!”
Stern and motherly
Many years ago I was on a crowded bus and this kid sat down by me. He was wearing really baggy pants and stunk like only a teenaged boy can stink…sweat and filth and gym socks and stuff. After awhile I felt him sort of jiggling and I looked over to glare at him and froze: the kid had actually opened his fly and was masturbating with his stinky hand on his stinky penis. Oh my God! I didn’t know what to do, but I was on the inside of the seat and couldn’t get out without climbing over him and touching his junk, so I thought fast and decided to be all stern and motherly. I looked over at him and made eye contact, and said “knock it off…put it away right now” and the kid actually did.
More than an unfamiliar face
I use to take the #9 bus to work. Each morning the bus had only about 25 passengers, all the same faces, getting off each morning at their stops, paper in hand, and clutching empty coffee cups. On one Friday morning, there was an unfamiliar face. I walked half way through the bus, and took a aisle seat. I could feel someone’s eyes on me Continue reading ‘More than an unfamiliar face’
