Posts Tagged funny
Proofread my love letter
Bakersfield, California. 105 degrees, and I am waiting for the 2 to show. At the bus stop is a guy who, for whatever reason, is wearing a heavy flannel shirt. Out of nowhere, he asks, “Can I ask you what your opinion of this is?” I didn’t really say yes or [...]
Sleepy behind the wheel
The best bus stories are told in the garages where drivers swap tales. Perhaps there is a shared need to confirm that each is not the only one experiencing some of the strangeness that occurs out there. One day there was a discussion of getting sleepy while behind the wheel. John mentioned [...]
Jesus will save our bowels
A friend and I were in Chicago for St. Patrick’s day last year. On our very first bus ride of the trip, down to the hostel where our friends were staying, an extremely large woman got on the bus. This woman took the seat right next to my friend. The unique thing [...]
A cheap ride
I was a poor college student who only had bus fare for a non-peak ride. Unfortunately, it was peak time. I got on the bus and dropped in the non-peak fare, avoiding eye contact with the driver, and began making my way to the back. The driver said “Hey, it’s peak, you owe more money,” [...]
Who’s got the keys to the bus?
This happened about fifteen years ago to a driver named Chuck. He was making his last trip of the night, from Hennipen and Lagoon to Selby and Snelling. This was back in the days of paper transfers, when the driver would tear a transfer off a book mounted in the transfer cutter. [...]
Paint-splattered bus
When I was living in Portland, I used the 75 a lot, which, as anyone who knows Portland, knows what a sketchy route this can be, as it goes all the way up 82nd Ave (or, as I called it, Hooker/Tweaker Boulevard) and the aptly named Killingsworth Ave. One time, a few blocks down [...]
Large Coke and Fries!
I was on a seemingly endless Greyhound ride from Missoula MT to Toledo OH many years ago. Somewhere during the night out in the middle of nowhere we stopped for a break at some lowly fast food joint. It was probably 3 or 4 in the morning and oddly enough, I was the only passenger [...]
I ain’t payin today
The day after St. Patrick’s day 2006, a friend and I decided to venture over to the United Center to see the Bulls play the Miami Heat. We were about .75 miles from the United Center when the bus pulled over at a stop where a woman and a man with a personal grocery [...]
Unbathed and out of sorts
Twenty years ago, I was traveling from Corpus Christi to Boston. I remember being somewhere in South Carolina, feeling very sick, and a woman brought me cream of mushroom soup in a styrofoam coffee cup. I was so thankful.
Hissy Pop
I had a woman riding my bus today who had just come from Aldi’s with a few bags of groceries. I must have braked a little too hard pulling into a stop, because her bags tipped over, spilling groceries all over the aisle (that’s what happens when you don’t hold your bags, folks). Among these [...]
