Wonderful, white, straight teeth
Riding the bus into work at 7 am from the Eastern suburbs, I sat down in a seat and the man sitting next to me says “good morning!” I respond back, little did I know, that was opening the doors to a half an hour bus ride of awkward conversation. The man, who is about 50 years old, me being 20, goes on to say, “Your name must be Jenny, I am Bob” Continue reading ‘Wonderful, white, straight teeth’
Plenty of open seats
I was riding the 7 bus from downtown Minneapolis to the Seward neighborhood at about 4pm. The bus was only half full, so there were plenty of open rows of seats. I decided to take a seat in the front of the bus where there was plenty of room and hopefully no one to sit right next to me. As the bus was reaching the end of Washington, a large, tall, somewhat scruffy guy started to walk up the aisle from the back of the bus. Continue reading ‘Plenty of open seats’
Proofread my love letter
Bakersfield, California. 105 degrees, and I am waiting for the 2 to show. At the bus stop is a guy who, for whatever reason, is wearing a heavy flannel shirt. Out of nowhere, he asks, “Can I ask you what your opinion of this is?” I didn’t really say yes or no, and had no idea what he was referring to. As we board the bus, he proceeds to tell me that he has written a love note to his fiancee, and he is unsure whether he should give it to her or not. Continue reading ‘Proofread my love letter’
Stern and motherly
Many years ago I was on a crowded bus and this kid sat down by me. He was wearing really baggy pants and stunk like only a teenaged boy can stink…sweat and filth and gym socks and stuff. After awhile I felt him sort of jiggling and I looked over to glare at him and froze: the kid had actually opened his fly and was masturbating with his stinky hand on his stinky penis. Oh my God! I didn’t know what to do, but I was on the inside of the seat and couldn’t get out without climbing over him and touching his junk, so I thought fast and decided to be all stern and motherly. I looked over at him and made eye contact, and said “knock it off…put it away right now” and the kid actually did.
