The Meanest Bastard
I hopped on the bus on the east side of St. Paul, heading home from a Metro State night-class at around 9:30 pm. immediately as I paid my fare I noticed a weird and definitely bad vibe. The driver, an older white guy looked seriously pissed, and I soon learned why. A drunk (and/or cracked-out) dude was sitting up near him and obviously had been pushing the driver’s buttons. I was up for a little entertainment, so I took a seat up front next to an older black dude and watched the show.
As I recall, the bus rolled down 3rd street incredibly fast as the driver and the drunk traded barbs, threatened each other with bodily harm, and generally shared how they REALLY felt about each other. Finally, as we took the corner to 6th like Vin Diesel drifting a curve, the drunk said something about being a “mean bastard”–at this point he looked as if he was going to assault the driver–and the driver, unfazed, responded with “I’m the meanest bastard you’ll ever meet.” He repeated the line a couple of times, then told the man to get off the bus. The drunk ignored the command. The driver than said, “Great, the cops’ll meet you up here a ways–I told you I’m a mean bastard.” The engine gunned and we were at the 6th St. transit hub in no time (most of us passengers were pretty white-knuckled from clutching the hand-holds on the seats in front of us by that time).
As we rolled up, we could see the transit cops in their car parked across the street. People in the back started snickering and telling the drunk “Uh oh, looks like you’re in trouble!” The drunk sat quietly in his seat, trying to look nonchalant. The bus stopped and the doors opened. A few passengers left, but the drunk stayed seated with a “whatever!” look on his face. I passed a “huh” look with the guy sitting next to me when, all of a sudden, the drunk shoots to his feet, screams off the bus and pulls a jesse owens up the sidewalk, hauling ass like nobody’s business! We all shared a good laugh, because the transit cops were just sitting in their car drinking coffee and chatting. A moment later the bus left the hub. We passed the running-man about two blocks up the street, just as he was sprinting clear of a parking ramp. He gave us a wild look and cut to the right, still running like an olympic gold medalist. I watched him for as long as I could, and he kept running further and further up the street. Finally my view was cut off when the bus passed in front of a large building. The dude next to me and I shared a few laughs and a few other bus stories. Man, you gotta love buses, eccentric drivers and drunk nutjobs for bringing strangers together!
Sep 30th, 2007 at 12:12 am
Heh, I experienced similiar situations before. Once while riding a bus in Superior Wisconsin, a……”special person” threaten me, saying he was going to take my tie, pull it around my neck and make me squeel like a pig. I ignored him (physically there was no way he could harm me). He went on to the next people and they complained to the driver. The driver told the guy he was going to kick him off the bus and have him banned from all DTA buses. His attitude changed fast. Suddenly he was the most polite and well behaved person in the world.
Nov 24th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
I had a drunk just yesterday on my 18 route. I was driving one of the new hybrids and all I could think was “He’s not going to throw up in THIS bus!” The buses are new and still smell good. He, of course, didn’t have his fare so I told him to leave the bus. He said he just wanted a ride. I explained that so did everyone else on the bus and that’s why they paid a fare. He would not be riding for free. He pulled out a handful of pennies and I quickly covered the coin part of the farebox. I told him that was nowhere near the $1.50 fare and he needed to get off the bus or I’d call the police. I mentioned the word “detox” and he cussed me out and got off. Two girls behind me laughed loudly at the sight. It’s funny how people are so quiet and of no help to the driver until the threat is gone.
Nov 29th, 2007 at 10:15 am
yes and the drivers are supposed to jump to help a passenger