You’re sleeping with me

Usually the 53/21 is pretty tame but this is the story I like to tell all of my friends about why riding the bus can be so much fun! (warning: bad language)

I’m on the 21 from St. Paul around 9pm or so. Somewhere around Hiawatha/Cedar a group of African American guys maybe in their 40s gets on the bus and heads to the back. They’re of the rowdy-but-humorous type. Each one tries to outdo the other with tales of athletic prowess. “I was an All-American quarterback in school.” “Oh yeah? Well, I was an All-American quarterback AND receiver!”

We come up to Bloomington and a Latino lady in her mid-40s or early-50s gets on. The first words out of her mouth to the back-of-the-bus group are, “Well, you’re all just a bunch of assholes, aren’t you?”

Flabbergasted, the “leader” of the men’s group blurts out, “Well, yes…well no! That’s disrespectful! F**k you!”

To which she responds, “Yeah? Well f**k you!”

“Shut up, bitch!”

“No way, motherf**ker!”

This goes on for at least 10-15 blocks. The rest of the bus is dead silent, wondering if this is going to escalate into some kind of race war.

As we wander down Lake St. some of the guys get off at various stops. At this point, the whole bus is a little more relaxed and starting to enjoy the exchanges. When the “leader” leaves, on his way out the back door he yells, “Kiss my ass!” The lady shouts something in Spanish and a Latino guy in the seat in front of me starts cracking up.

Finally, just one of the original group remains. She asks him, “Well, where’re you gettin’ off?”

He shrugs.

She says, “Get off at the next stop.”

He asks, “Why?”

She says, “Because you’re sleeping with me tonight.”

She heads out the back door. A few second later she pops her head back in and says, “Well, you coming?”

The guy follows her out the door.

People are just cracking up on the bus now. I have to say it was one of the most enjoyable rides I’ve ever had.

If you enjoyed this tale, read these: