This is from an email I sent right before I moved away from St. Paul. I took the bus for four years…and it was, well, quite a trip!

Sent: Friday, October 12, 2001 10:31 AM
Subject: bus observations/thoughts/memories

Wow, one week from today and I’m done at the Pioneer Press. I have been thinking about the bus today.

Is her hair wet or just greasy?
Does the leather of the bus seats smell or does everyone have body odor?
Is he a wino or just ‘sorta special’?
Am I going to fall on the floor the next time the driver takes such a SHARP turn?
Is that the bearded lady or the one who looks like her that we see in the food court all the time?
Isn’t that the guy who was with the woman who claimed to be Elvis Presley’s daughter?
Hey, didn’t that girl who claimed to be Elvis’ daughter also say that she had a monkey named Skeeter that some ‘bitch’ killed?
Does she HAVE to smack her gum like that?
Remember that one time when the bus reeked of urine and EVERYONE was gaggy–not just me?
I could NEVER eat on the bus.
Please, please, please, please do not let that kid sit by me again today
I really hope that’s COFFEE on the seat
I can’t believe that the driver just went up over the curb
We’re going like 50 mph…seriously.
Remember that driver who always called John Ireland Boulevard ‘Sibley’?
Remember that driver who called out: MAAARKET?
Hey look! All my ‘bus friends’ are on here today–

Hi Derek!

Hi Jennifer!

Hi Julie!

Hi Poo!

Hi Beatrice!

Hi Talvin!

Hi Holly!

Hi Glory!

Hi Tom!

Hi ‘Talker’

Hi ‘Laura Ingalls wilder’

Hi ‘girl who looks like Kristi’

Hi ‘spitter’

Hi ‘budger’

Hi ‘I will pray for you’

Hi ‘bitch who wouldn’t let that guy sit down’

Hi ‘mom w/the newborn’

Hi ‘nice guy w/the bad breath’

Hi ‘new budger’

Hi ‘lady w/the short blonde hair who works at Ecolab’

Hi ‘girl with the no neck’

Hi ‘girl who noticed it smelled like urine too’

Hi ‘woman who used to work for the government in food service for 14 years and now is much happier working at Ecolab’

Hi ‘guy who’d look better if he didn’t wear white socks’

Howdy, cowboy!

Hi ‘guy we saw at pride who Jen TOTALLY called was gay’

Hi ‘pss pss bus driver’

Hi ‘bus driver who constantly talks to himself’

Hi ‘mean lady who shushed us in the library’

Hi ‘guy who caught on to the fact that the box marked ‘caution: live animals’ was empty’

Hi ‘Mr. 80s’

Hi ‘guy who doesn’t shut up and talks about guns and hot chicks’

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