The rare celebrity seat
This story involves a local celebrity. I will omit his name and the name of the television show he hosts (it’s on PBS), but there’s a sort of trademark that this man has that’ll be a dead give away for any one who watches his show: he always wears a scarf, be it winter or summer, chilly or down right hot out, he’ll always be seen wearing these ridiculous scarves. If you haven’t got it yet then I suppose you never will, so I’ll just proceed to crime of courtesy that he committed.
I was riding the 16 from Downtown, getting on at Nicollet Mall and heading for school at the U. As anyone who rides that bus during the week knows, there are times when the stars align and it would seem that everyone and their mother wants to be on the 16. Standing room only is common on that work-horse of a bus, and to be lucky enough to actually sit down is a sweetness that dare not wish for, it’s too rare, too unreachable.
So, as usual, I’m just another steer packed into this cattle-car, standing with my hand on the supports and my nose jammed into the armpit of Joe Six-Pack. As we sway like a collective blob over the bumps and around the turns I have my senses heightened, looking for the person ready to vacate a seat, when suddenly a person sitting on the driver’s side, right behind where I’m standing, gets up and slips through the crowd to leave. The seat that is now empty is not mine — bus rules — the person closest to it gets dibs, but for some reason they’re not taking it.
Investigating, I see that the window-seat sitter has annexed the seat with a wide lab, a newspaper and with not-so-subtle body-language that says, “mine!” Seeing this I prepare my “don’t you know the rules, bub?” look, but he’s pretending to be oblivious, but that’d be impossible since the collective stare of a dozen people bears down on him and that fat, moist muffin he is holding like an apple, eating it with one hand. This continued through all of my stops and by the time I exited nobody had had the courage to sit in his extra seat.
After I thought about where I’d seen him before I realized that this bus would take him right to his TV studio in St. Paul, and that, perhaps, he’d ride in style the whole way there. I suppose he needed the extra space to prepare for an interview, the jerk.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:59 am
I would’ve sat right down next to the asshole, “celebrity” or not.
I make the people who sit in the middle of a three-wide seat move to one end or the other when I sit down right next to them. If they don’t like it - they can drive.
May 6th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Let it be known that said celebrity does not own a car, and often bums rides from other journalists.
May 7th, 2008 at 11:06 am
I think you should have just sat down.