Hacking loogies is not directly banned

The left front handicapped seat this morning was filled with a covered stroller. The right front handicapped seat was filled with a very large baby mama and her equally large younger sister. I was in the seat right behind.

The mother was talking so loudly on her phone to her grandmother the entire ride that I can say based on her own words that she was 20 years old, from Chicago and indignant about her social workers and public assistance. As she rode and shouted into the phone she did her best to keep up her weight by inhaling a bag of doritos.

I thank my lucky stars that I on the other hand had not yet had breakfast, because it likely would have ended up on my lap: periodically the mom would stand up to shift her substantial frame and each time I wished she had gotten up a few minutes earlier that day so that she had had time to put on a pair of underwear. Instead, about three inches of hairy butt crack was wafted in front of my face. As if that biohazard were not enough to recommend bleaching the seat after her departure the worst was yet to come.

Around Lexington Big Mama tilted her head back and cleared her throat. She hacked again, and again and again. Then with not a care in the world she leaned forward and apparently dropped the phlegm on the floor. I could not believe it. Surely she had a napkin on her lap and I was misreading the situation… So, I stood up, looked at the floor, and sure enough there was a yellowy puddle between her feet on the bus floor.

Wow. I thought about speaking to the bus driver, but Metro Transit rules state: “Don’t smoke, eat or listen to music without headphones”, so apparently hacking loogies was not directly banned. I thought of talking directly to her, but figured that somebody so poorly raised / mannered was more likely to hit or shoot me than take my words to heart. I was about to let it slide when a few blocks latter another mother with a stroller came on board. Big Mama, shifted over to the left side to sit with her baby, thus giving the new mom a place to put her stroller (also draped with blankets). As the new mom was shifting the conveyance in place I spoke up:

“Excuse me mam- be very careful while wheeling that stroller into the seat- somebody has been spitting on the floor there and it would be a shame to get the phlegm onto your baby’s blanket. It is pretty disgusting and likely to get your baby sick.” I looked right at Big Mama while talking to see if it registered at all. Her face stayed focused on the chips she was shoveling into her mouth and I have no idea if anything clicked with her. Still, my passive aggression at least made me feel better.

I am still in awe at the animalistic display. I guess I should be lucky though that Big Mama did not have to defecate, as I half suspect she would have lowered her droopy drawers another half inch and plopped it right on the floor.

Of course the really sad situation is the baby. Imagine what she/he will grow up like with this behavior considered normal and acceptable in the house.

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