Archive Page 78
Massive Loogie
This happened several years ago, but I remember it very clearly. I was listening to my headphones when I heard a loud hacking sound (loud enough to cut into Foo Fighter’s Monkey wrench at full blast). The guy in front of me then opened his window and spit. I wish that’s where it ended, but the wind was blowing just so, and his massive loogie landed directly on my window. I had to sit there for 15 minutes while that wad stared at me, spreading out and eventually freezing. I still have nightmares.
Backpack to the Face
Last week on my way in to work a woman walked down the aisle and as she was dodging legs and shoulders she nearly took off my head with her backpack. Lucky for me I’m skilled at avoiding backpacks but she must have hit someone a couple rows behind because I heard a pissed off grumpy voice say (warning: bad language) Continue reading ‘Backpack to the Face’
Plastic Ice Cream Pail
I did 11 years on the Number 5 bus, so it’s difficult to know where to begin. When the young man punched me in the face? When the drunk puked on my shoes? Time blurs some of the drama those unpleasant experiences. Continue reading ‘Plastic Ice Cream Pail’
A Bad Habit
I was staring out the window lost in my own thoughts when I was startled by an arm reaching around my neck from the seat behind me. The arm was attached to a hand, which was holding a small knife. I looked up and saw a grinning man with few teeth in the seat behind me. Before I had a chance to be scared, he gestured at my own hand. I realized I had been indulging in my bad habit of chewing on a hangnail, and this man was offering me some assistance. Thoughtful, no?
