Chatty Guy is a nice enough guy, never drunk or obnoxious. However, he has the propensity to seek out a different friendly middle-aged woman every 5-6 months, and proceed to proactively sit by her on a daily basis. In my tenure, I have seen 4-5 such women fall prey to Chatty Guy.

He’s shameless – 60% of the seats could be completely empty, but he’ll scootch right next to his current victim. It’s the same routine – “Good morning! Wow, it’s {cold/hot} out there. The bus is {late/early} today.”

On days where his current victim is not on the bus, I entertain myself by guessing where he will sit. When this is the case, he gets a perplexed look upon his face, slowly walking down the isle scanning the passengers for prey. Inevitably, he sits down next to the friendliest looking woman and says hello – regardless of her earphone/book-reading situation.

When he is sitting on the aisle seat (which is always the case, since he sits next to someone every time), he always turns to the person and asks “Is this your stop?”, even if the person still has her face buried in a book and Ipod on full volume.

Finally, Chatty Guy never misses the evening 663 at 4:30. There have been a few occasions where he is running late, or the bus is early. On these occasions, Chatty Guy has been known to sprint along S 9th Street for 3 blocks to catch up to the 663. On one occassion, I was sitting by someone with whom I often exchange Chatty Guy stories. We noted his absence, and I casually said “We’ll probably see him streaking down the sidewalk.” We looked to our right, and saw him in all his glory, flying across Nicollet Avenue at Jesse Owens-like speed.

In conclusion, I have nothing against Chatty Guy. Some consider him annoying, but I consider him an asset to the 663. If we ever part ways, I’ll always treasure the memories and pray for the poor soul he currently victimizes.