Archive for March, 2007
I ain’t payin today
The day after St. Patrick’s day 2006, a friend and I decided to venture over to the United Center to see the Bulls play the Miami Heat. We were about .75 miles from the United Center when the bus pulled over at a stop where a woman and a man with a personal grocery […]
Stern and motherly
Many years ago I was on a crowded bus and this kid sat down by me. He was wearing really baggy pants and stunk like only a teenaged boy can stink…sweat and filth and gym socks and stuff. After awhile I felt him sort of jiggling and I looked over to glare at him and […]
Large Coke and Fries!
I was on a seemingly endless Greyhound ride from Missoula MT to Toledo OH many years ago. Somewhere during the night out in the middle of nowhere we stopped for a break at some lowly fast food joint. It was probably 3 or 4 in the morning and oddly enough, I was the only passenger […]
Lady lovers
I take the bus every day at 7:00 in the moring, and every day there are these two lady lovers just kissing each other tounge and all. This guy was right next to them and I was behind the guy and he looked back at me like he saw a ghost he was so shocked. […]
Paint-splattered bus
When I was living in Portland, I used the 75 a lot, which, as anyone who knows Portland, knows what a sketchy route this can be, as it goes all the way up 82nd Ave (or, as I called it, Hooker/Tweaker Boulevard) and the aptly named Killingsworth Ave. One time, a few blocks down […]
Who’s got the keys to the bus?
This happened about fifteen years ago to a driver named Chuck. He was making his last trip of the night, from Hennipen and Lagoon to Selby and Snelling. This was back in the days of paper transfers, when the driver would tear a transfer off a book mounted in the transfer cutter. […]
Really nice arc
On the way home from work tonight, we drove past a bus stop across the street from the metrodome, on 6th st. This guy was slumped over on the bench like he was about to pass out, except that he had his (thing) out and was pissing all over the bench, he had a pretty […]
A cheap ride
I was a poor college student who only had bus fare for a non-peak ride. Unfortunately, it was peak time. I got on the bus and dropped in the non-peak fare, avoiding eye contact with the driver, and began making my way to the back. The driver said “Hey, it’s peak, you owe more money,” […]
Jesus will save our bowels
A friend and I were in Chicago for St. Patrick’s day last year. On our very first bus ride of the trip, down to the hostel where our friends were staying, an extremely large woman got on the bus. This woman took the seat right next to my friend. The unique thing […]
Celebratory Dance
Many years ago I was riding the bus to work and, lo and behold! My brother got on. He was not much of a bus rider, plus I hadn’t seen him in awhile, so I was really happy. We started chatting and then I asked him about his new girlfriend (fast forward several years […]
